User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 18

Thread: Interracial relationship issues

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Question Interracial relationship issues

    I spoke to a friend of mine and he is in an interracial marriage, the marriage self is going very well.
    He is caucasian and married to a black woman and he is into more "black" things, like different kinds of black music, i.e. rap, roots-reggae, dub-reggae, jazz, soul, funk. Also he likes the tropical cuisine better than his own "bland" food. Same goes with his style of clothing, he isn't anything like a wigger, he uses influences of urban and it looks good on him, he's not trying to hard. But not sure if this is what he should wear.

    So far no big problem, but he feels like he is a "sell out" to his own culture. He doesn't "feel" his own culture, music, food and a lot of their "people". The people thing is because he was a non conformist and grew up in a little town and they treated him as an outcast and bullied him badly and beat him up for most of his youth. He never felt he fit in, in any social group within the "white community".

    Right before his 20's he found he liked "black culture" more to his liking and he said and I seen that black people treat him very well and the click is instant, whereas when he is even with his family (which he has no problem with) don't really bond on day to day things, because his thought patterns are so different.

    Now this dude feels lost, because he is feeling a bit like someone with an identity crisis: sure, he likes black culture and even more than his own, but he is white and although his own culture (according to him) turned his back on him, he feels like somehow he is torn between black and white culture and feeling like a fake. To be clear: I've known this dude for years and he is no poser, he is genuine and not your typical I like black girls because they have a fat ass, so I love black culture. Nah, this dude clearly has an interest (deeply) in all cultures and really feels at home within the black community.

    I don't know what advice to give him, because he is beating himself up and feels depressed and confused and I can't blame him. Who is he, how should he carry himself and is it being a sellout not liking your own culture and liking some other culture better? Also, he feels torn whenever he meets people that are talking like being black is better than white. At that moment he feels weird, he could not explain fully, but like he wanted to defend his own race, but felt betrayed, but at the same time hates people that are like "my race is above all others".

    Long story/question short: what would you say to this dude? he is a nice, humble dude that is lost and I really would like to help him out.

    Thanks homies!

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    No one? c'mon peeps!

  3. #3
    TattooTearz TattooTears's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,198
    Than/ks (Given)
    104
    Than/ks (Received)
    409
    Likes (Given)
    358
    Likes (Received)
    960
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    1
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    You like what you like and graviatate to what you will.If he feels comfortable around black culture because he likes the style than he is honest with himself.If he is doing that because he is trying to fit in , then he is mistaking himself. If he really likes black culture he has to understand that he is not going to get along with every black and some blacks may have a problem with whites appropiating black culture,hopefully people's opinions won't matter to him because that can't stop his interest and infatuation with a culture.
    But he also has to keep in mind that not every white would exactly reject him either cause there are a lot of whites that like black culture.

    Also since he likes Reggae and Rap/Jazz he has to understand that there is no one unison black culture as one is Caribbean based and the other American based.So just like you got different people in one culture in America, you got a vast plethora of people from different black cultures .


  4. #4
    New York State Of Mind Ghostface's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    8,942
    Than/ks (Given)
    450
    Than/ks (Received)
    688
    Likes (Given)
    423
    Likes (Received)
    1582
    Dislikes (Given)
    8
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    331 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Sounds like he's around a bunch of racist if you ask me. What's funny about some white people is they clown about liking black music but mess with rock music forgetting or not knowing that black people created that also.people fuck with Black culture and not even know it sometimes

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TattoedTearz View Post
    You like what you like and graviatate to what you will.If he feels comfortable around black culture because he likes the style than he is honest with himself.If he is doing that because he is trying to fit in , then he is mistaking himself. If he really likes black culture he has to understand that he is not going to get along with every black and some blacks may have a problem with whites appropiating black culture,hopefully people's opinions won't matter to him because that can't stop his interest and infatuation with a culture.
    But he also has to keep in mind that not every white would exactly reject him either cause there are a lot of whites that like black culture.

    Also since he likes Reggae and Rap/Jazz he has to understand that there is no one unison black culture as one is Caribbean based and the other American based.So just like you got different people in one culture in America, you got a vast plethora of people from different black cultures .
    Thanks for going in, homie!
    He likes caribbean and american black culture all the same and he opinions of other people is something he holds high.
    Even people that don't like him, because he wants to understand why they don't like him.

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghostface View Post
    Sounds like he's around a bunch of racist if you ask me. What's funny about some white people is they clown about liking black music but mess with rock music forgetting or not knowing that black people created that also.people fuck with Black culture and not even know it sometimes
    Yeah, those people could be racist, but how though if he has the same colour?
    I think they are very close minded and once you differ, you have a problem.
    Black people have contributed enormous in entertainment and should definitely get more props!

  7. #7
    Gold Member donBenito's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    808
    Than/ks (Given)
    28
    Than/ks (Received)
    166
    Likes (Given)
    30
    Likes (Received)
    389
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    1
    Mentioned
    70 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    he's definitely gonna run into conflict and hate and maybe even some vicious ugliness....cuz he will try to relate, fit in act like equals...but the black man, or a particular black man may take this as an insult and if he's not careful, he could end up in some major conflicts....he's gotta have his girl around in these type of situations to bail him out and cool things down. if he gets invited out to hang with all black homies, he's gotta be careful they're not just trying to fuck with him, play games or test him, drain him etc....lol

    I was at a black bar last summer and drunk outta my mind. i was so blacked out and my so called "friends" didn't take me away or outta there so i just drank and buddied up with some not so great people....at about 8am....drinking ALL NIGHT....shoulda left hours ago....this white guy started stirring shit up or hated on me....started telling black dudes i was sayin the N word...which i would never do....are u serious???lol.....he confused me or my presence with my accomplice that night...an eminem rip off/wigger.....who was goin around sayin *****....end result....as i was blacked out...some black dude comes up with his crew and pushes me to the ground...i get up and whole bar erupts....everybody broken up...

    i left feeling like i got punked or blindsided....and my friends were saying i wanted to back in...which was stupid...as i later found out several people there...black and hispanic...were strapped....i got lucky in a way....

    anyways....one particular black Hateful guy who had a white nerd as his DD, a common tactic people use as a cover for illicit activities.....this white guy was buying the black "friend" drinks all night....thewhite guy was like ned flanders....


    anyways...i start running my mouth about some people or that one white guy hating on me....this black dude bascially set me up in the end i think.

    key lesson....u cant get too comfortable in certain areas or places...keep to urself and if u feel bad vibes...bounce....

    this guy should just try to be cool and try not to look at ppl who are filled with hate, anger, stress, frustration cuz they been getting hated or treated unequally their whole life....there will always be a disconnect....he's gotta just have and show balls and street smarts....and if he gets tested...he's gotta either not be put up like that or seen...or handle it....and he needs his chick around as often as possible.
    Last edited by kace; 05-15-2016 at 05:28 PM.
    <img src=http://postimg.org/image/t5wgmagqp/ border=0 alt= />

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by donBenito View Post
    he's definitely gonna run into conflict and hate and maybe even some vicious ugliness....cuz he will try to relate, fit in act like equals...but the black man, or a particular black man may take this as an insult and if he's not careful, he could end up in some major conflicts....he's gotta have his girl around in these type of situations to bail him out and cool things down. if he gets invited out to hang with all black homies, he's gotta be careful they're not just trying to fuck with him, play games or test him, drain him etc....lol

    I was at a black bar last summer and drunk outta my mind. i was so blacked out and my so called "friends" didn't take me away or outta there so i just drank and buddied up with some not so great people....at about 8am....drinking ALL NIGHT....shoulda left hours ago....this white guy started stirring shit up or hated on me....started telling black dudes i was sayin the N word...which i would never do....are u serious???lol.....he confused me or my presence with my accomplice that night...an eminem rip off/wigger.....who was goin around sayin *****.....end result....as i was blacked out...some black dude comes up with his crew and pushes me to the ground...i get up and whole bar erupts....everybody broken up...

    i left feeling like i got punked or blindsided....and my friends were saying i wanted to back in...which was stupid...as i later found out several people there...black and hispanic...were strapped....i got lucky in a way....

    anyways....one particular black Hateful guy who had a white nerd as his DD, a common tactic people use as a cover for illicit activities.....this white guy was buying the black "friend" drinks all night....thewhite guy was like ned flanders....


    anyways...i start running my mouth about some people or that one white guy hating on me....this black dude bascially set me up in the end i think.

    key lesson....u cant get too comfortable in certain areas or places...keep to urself and if u feel bad vibes...bounce....

    this guy should just try to be cool and try not to look at ppl who are filled with hate, anger, stress, frustration cuz they been getting hated or treated unequally their whole life....there will always be a disconnect....he's gotta just have and show balls and street smarts....and if he gets tested...he's gotta either not be put up like that or seen...or handle it....and he needs his chick around as often as possible.
    He can handle himself pretty well and been out with the boys, they treat him with respect, as equal, so there's no problem there. I never seen him drop the N bomb and he is not the type to, neither uses slang, just himself in a "black environment". It's mostly the white, yes his OWN people, that look down on him and treat him not as equal.

    I couldn't believe it, but I seen it with my own eyes, this dude is relaxed and humble and never insults anyone, but he comes from a little village and I think those people are so used to all the people being clones/sheeples, that once you are a bit different, you have a problem. They give black people strange looks too, like you are some alien, but never dare speak up.
    Last edited by kace; 05-15-2016 at 05:29 PM.

  9. #9
    Fight me. kace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    11,687
    Than/ks (Given)
    283
    Than/ks (Received)
    618
    Likes (Given)
    668
    Likes (Received)
    1316
    Dislikes (Given)
    37
    Dislikes (Received)
    6
    Mentioned
    415 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Remind him that our (black people) culture isn't his own, however if he is respectful and isn't displaying what stereotypical black people behavior is, Then he's fine.. But I do suggest he get in touch with his own culture. Whatever white culture that is. I don't know. I'm not going to tell you it's okay to act like what he thinks a black person acts. He should be himself, shouldn't let our culture get his ass beat, and what I mean is getting to comfortable behaving in what he thinks a black person is. I'm just being honest.
    Last edited by kace; 05-15-2016 at 05:25 PM.

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kace View Post
    Remind him that our (black people) culture isn't his own, however if he is respectful and isn't displaying what stereotypical black people behavior is, Then he's fine.. But I do suggest he get in touch with his own culture. Whatever white culture that is. I don't know. I'm not going to tell you it's okay to act like what he thinks a black person acts. He should be himself, shouldn't let our culture get his ass beat, and what I mean is getting to comfortable behaving in what he thinks a black person is. I'm just being honest.
    You right, but like I said: that is not part of the problem, he don't act black, just got his own thing going on.
    It's not that he doesn't want to get in touch with his culture, but he feels a lot of his people turned his back on him and he is naturally more interested in other cultures, which are more open and flavourful.

    He doesn't hate his culture, nor thinks he is or should be black, trust me
    It's hard though, in todays society people are quick to judge, but I feel he should stay true to his feelings, he ain't hurting anybody. In fact it's the other way around.

  11. #11
    Fight me. kace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    11,687
    Than/ks (Given)
    283
    Than/ks (Received)
    618
    Likes (Given)
    668
    Likes (Received)
    1316
    Dislikes (Given)
    37
    Dislikes (Received)
    6
    Mentioned
    415 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Menace81 View Post
    You right, but like I said: that is not part of the problem, he don't act black, just got his own thing going on.
    It's not that he doesn't want to get in touch with his culture, but he feels a lot of his people turned his back on him and he is naturally more interested in other cultures, which are more open and flavourful.

    He doesn't hate his culture, nor thinks he is or should be black, trust me
    It's hard though, in todays society people are quick to judge, but I feel he should stay true to his feelings, he ain't hurting anybody. In fact it's the other way around.

    Lon as he's not sayin nigga all willy nilly, and chuckin and jivin... Cooning it up. He should be fine. In fact this whole feeling bad because his white people dont like what he do is a weird cry for help imo.

  12. #12
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kace View Post
    Lon as he's not sayin nigga all willy nilly, and chuckin and jivin... Cooning it up. He should be fine. In fact this whole feeling bad because his white people dont like what he do is a weird cry for help imo.
    I think he's struggling because he doesn't want to be a sellout, but at the same time he doesn't really love his roots. That's why he's torn between those two things, imagine "your own people" treating you like shit, yet other cultures embrace you and on top of that, the things in the culture suit you better.

    I don't think it's weird, maybe there are more out there, but haven't come forward.
    Recently I read that children from interracial marriages have identity crisis later on in live, since they are not one race and have a trouble identifying with their culture. So, when a person from a race feels like his own people don't have his back, doesn't feel his culture, but identifies more with a different culture, you basically are left with the same feeling.

    I feel he should embrace his interests and not identify by his race, rather just being human with a broader view than some and I think that's positive. The people from where he's from only stick to what they know and won't even try something else.

  13. #13
    Fight me. kace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    11,687
    Than/ks (Given)
    283
    Than/ks (Received)
    618
    Likes (Given)
    668
    Likes (Received)
    1316
    Dislikes (Given)
    37
    Dislikes (Received)
    6
    Mentioned
    415 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Menace81 View Post
    I think he's struggling because he doesn't want to be a sellout, but at the same time he doesn't really love his roots. That's why he's torn between those two things, imagine "your own people" treating you like shit, yet other cultures embrace you and on top of that, the things in the culture suit you better.

    I don't think it's weird, maybe there are more out there, but haven't come forward.
    Recently I read that children from interracial marriages have identity crisis later on in live, since they are not one race and have a trouble identifying with their culture. So, when a person from a race feels like his own people don't have his back, doesn't feel his culture, but identifies more with a different culture, you basically are left with the same feeling.

    I feel he should embrace his interests and not identify by his race, rather just being human with a broader view than some and I think that's positive. The people from where he's from only stick to what they know and won't even try something else.
    That's kind of different though, those are interracial children who have two backgrounds that they struggle being accept to. This Guy actually just has the white culture, but what I mean is... As ghost face said... It sounds like the people he grew up around or however were racists and now he's struggling with the judgement from them and he's feeling like he's selling them out. That's what's weird. Like just tell him it's okay not to be racist. It's okay, he's fine with accepting other cultures. You know. He gonna have to get over that.

  14. #14
    Fight me. kace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    11,687
    Than/ks (Given)
    283
    Than/ks (Received)
    618
    Likes (Given)
    668
    Likes (Received)
    1316
    Dislikes (Given)
    37
    Dislikes (Received)
    6
    Mentioned
    415 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Menace81 View Post
    I think he's struggling because he doesn't want to be a sellout, but at the same time he doesn't really love his roots. That's why he's torn between those two things, imagine "your own people" treating you like shit, yet other cultures embrace you and on top of that, the things in the culture suit you better.

    I don't think it's weird, maybe there are more out there, but haven't come forward.
    Recently I read that children from interracial marriages have identity crisis later on in live, since they are not one race and have a trouble identifying with their culture. So, when a person from a race feels like his own people don't have his back, doesn't feel his culture, but identifies more with a different culture, you basically are left with the same feeling.

    I feel he should embrace his interests and not identify by his race, rather just being human with a broader view than some and I think that's positive. The people from where he's from only stick to what they know and won't even try something else.
    That's kind of different though, those are interracial children who have two backgrounds that they struggle being accept to. This Guy actually just has the white culture, but what I mean is... As ghost face said... It sounds like the people he grew up around or however were racists and now he's struggling with the judgement from them and he's feeling like he's selling them out. That's what's weird. Like just tell him it's okay not to be racist. It's okay, he's fine with accepting other cultures. You know. He gonna have to get over that.

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    602
    Than/ks (Given)
    126
    Than/ks (Received)
    158
    Likes (Given)
    277
    Likes (Received)
    327
    Dislikes (Given)
    0
    Dislikes (Received)
    0
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kace View Post
    That's kind of different though, those are interracial children who have two backgrounds that they struggle being accept to. This Guy actually just has the white culture, but what I mean is... As ghost face said... It sounds like the people he grew up around or however were racists and now he's struggling with the judgement from them and he's feeling like he's selling them out. That's what's weird. Like just tell him it's okay not to be racist. It's okay, he's fine with accepting other cultures. You know. He gonna have to get over that.
    Ah, right.
    Yeah, I think those people do qualify as racist, but they haven't acted on it towards black people.
    I can imagine being torn between feeling a sellout but at the same time being judged and worse, because despite everything, they are "his people". I think he just is disgusted by them, but at the same time is confused on how he as a fellow white man should act.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-03-2011, 06:25 PM
  2. Login Issues
    By AgainstAllOdds in forum Help Desk
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-05-2010, 01:28 AM
  3. Interracial Porn....
    By One Nation Under Thugs in forum Speak Out
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 07-26-2009, 08:36 PM
  4. World Issues
    By RockyX in forum Help Desk
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 03-18-2006, 02:27 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •