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Thread: Ya Got Jokes

  1. #16
    OUTLAWZCONNECT :NexLaw:'s Avatar
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    the pink panther was gay, time to laugh now ha ha ha

  2. #17
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    Blonde jokes.

    A blond woman is walking down the streets, when a old couple stopped her and asked
    The Old Couple: Excuse me mis, but are you Jehovas witness?
    The Blond Girl: Jehovas witness? I didn´t even see the accident!

  3. #18
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

    If you told a lie it would suck you in.

    One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

    The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

    Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

  4. #19
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

    The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

    The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

    She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

  5. #20
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.

    She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"

    "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

    "No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about how much I spent on it."

    "Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

    "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."

    "Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

    "Well mother, when I went to cook it, I read the directions on the back and they said, "PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE," so I had to fly Alaska."

  6. #21
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said,

    "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."

    So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

    The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"

    The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"

    So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.

    So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
    "It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.
    The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
    "It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.
    The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"

  7. #22
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    A blonde and brunette are walking along and the brunette turns to the blonde and said 'my husband had really bad dandruff, so I gave him head and shoulders.' then the blonde says 'how do you give shoulders?

  8. #23
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper.
    The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed".
    She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to
    the stranger sitting next to her and asked,......
    "Wow that is really sad, how many is a Brazilian?"

  9. #24
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    One day as a blonde was walking along the shore of a huge lake.
    She spotted another blonde on the opposite shore.
    She cupped her hands together and shouted "How do I get to the other side?"
    The other blonde cupped her hands together and shouted "YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!"

  10. #25
    Dr. Spreadem PeaceFarmPac's Avatar
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    There were 11 people holding onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

  11. #26
    known as explicit Smokey's Avatar
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    why did the little girl get red when she opened the fridge ?
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    she saw the salad dressing
    Last edited by Smokey; 07-16-2010 at 12:31 PM.

  12. #27
    Colt Tourniquet's Avatar
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    A radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
    Dj: "96FM here, what's your name?"
    Caller: "Hi, my name's Dave."
    DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"
    Caller: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced 'go-an'."
    DJ: "You are correct, Dave, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in, that would make sense?"
    Caller: "Goan fuck yourself!"
    The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
    DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?"
    Caller: "Hi, my name's Jeff."
    DJ: "Jeff, what's your word?"
    Caller: "Smee... spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced 'smee'."
    DJ: "You are correct, Jeff, 'Smee' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in, that would make sense?"
    Caller: "Smee again. Goan fuck yourself!"

  13. #28
    Sudanese Member Blaze's Avatar
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    met a girl at the pub who said she liked it rough
    says to me "go on then, gimme twelve inches and make me bleed"
    so i punched her on the nose and fucked her twice

    "So you run and you run to catch up with the sun,but it's sinking
    Racing around to come up behind you again
    Sun is the same -in a relative way- but you're older
    Shorter of breath,and one day closer to death"

  14. #29
    Sudanese Member Blaze's Avatar
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    A nun was walking down the street, when she saw a boy smoking. She asked "How old are you?" He said "Ten." "Well a ten year old boy shouldn't be smoking." "That's nuthin'. I had a fuck when I was 5." "I don't believe that. What was it like then?" "Fucked if I know. I was too pissed to remember"

    "So you run and you run to catch up with the sun,but it's sinking
    Racing around to come up behind you again
    Sun is the same -in a relative way- but you're older
    Shorter of breath,and one day closer to death"

  15. #30
    Sudanese Member Blaze's Avatar
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    What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball... Nothing, but she gagged

    "So you run and you run to catch up with the sun,but it's sinking
    Racing around to come up behind you again
    Sun is the same -in a relative way- but you're older
    Shorter of breath,and one day closer to death"

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